My Life -
Chekhov's story
I
II
III IV
V
VI
VII
VIII
IX
X
XI
XII
XIII
XIV
XV
XVI
XVII XVIII
XIX XX
XX If I wanted to order a ring for myself, the inscription I should
choose would be: "Nothing passes away." I believe that nothing
passes away without leaving a trace, and that every step we
take, however small, has significance for our present and our
future existence.
What I have been through has not been for nothing. My great
troubles, my patience, have touched people's hearts, and now
they don't call me "Better-than-nothing," they don't laugh at
me, and when I walk by the shops they don't throw water over me.
They have grown used to my being a workman, and see nothing
strange in my carrying a pail of paint and putting in windows,
though I am of noble rank; on the contrary, people are glad to
give me orders, and I am now considered a first-rate workman,
and the best foreman after Radish, who, though he has regained
his health, and though, as before, he paints the cupola on the
belfry without scaffolding, has no longer the force to control
the workmen; instead of him I now run about the town looking for
work, I engage the workmen and pay them, borrow money at a high
rate of interest, and now that I myself am a contractor, I
understand how it is that one may have to waste three days
racing about the town in search of tilers on account of some
twopenny-halfpenny job. People are civil to me, they address me
politely, and in the houses where I work, they offer me tea, and
send to enquire whether I wouldn't like dinner. Children and
young girls often come and look at me with curiosity and
compassion.
One day I was working in the Governor's garden, painting an
arbour there to look like marble. The Governor, walking in the
garden, came up to the arbour and, having nothing to do, entered
into conversation with me, and I reminded him how he had once
summoned me to an interview with him. He looked into my face
intently for a minute, then made his mouth like a round "O,"
flung up his hands, and said: "I don't remember!"
I have grown older, have become silent, stern, and austere, I
rarely laugh, and I am told that I have grown like Radish, and
that like him I bore the workmen by my useless exhortations.
Mariya Viktorovna, my former wife, is living now abroad, while
her father is constructing a railway somewhere in the eastern
provinces, and is buying estates there. Dr. Blagovo is also
abroad. Dubetchnya has passed again into the possession of
Madame Tcheprakov, who has bought it after forcing the engineer
to knock the price down twenty per cent. Moisey goes about now
in a bowler hat; he often drives into the town in a racing
droshky on business of some sort, and stops near the bank. They
say he has already bought up a mortgaged estate, and is
constantly making enquiries at the bank about Dubetchnya, which
he means to buy too. Poor Ivan Tcheprakov was for a long while
out of work, staggering about the town and drinking. I tried to
get him into our work, and for a time he painted roofs and put
in window-panes in our company, and even got to like it, and
stole oil, asked for tips, and drank like a regular painter. But
he soon got sick of the work, and went back to Dubetchnya, and
afterwards the workmen confessed to me that he had tried to
persuade them to join him one night and murder Moisey and rob
Madame Tcheprakov.
My father has greatly aged; he is very bent, and in the evenings
walks up and down near his house. I never go to see him.
During an epidemic of cholera Prokofy doctored some of the
shopkeepers with pepper cordial and pitch, and took money for
doing so, and, as I learned from the newspapers, was flogged for
abusing the doctors as he sat in his shop. His shop boy Nikolka
died of cholera. Karpovna is still alive and, as always, she
loves and fears her Prokofy. When she sees me, she always shakes
her head mournfully, and says with a sigh: "Your life is
ruined."
On working days I am busy from morning till night. On holidays,
in fine weather, I take my tiny niece (my sister reckoned on a
boy, but the child is a girl) and walk in a leisurely way to the
cemetery. There I stand or sit down, and stay a long time gazing
at the grave that is so dear to me, and tell the child that her
mother lies here.
Sometimes, by the graveside, I find Anyuta Blagovo. We greet
each other and stand in silence, or talk of Kleopatra, of her
child, of how sad life is in this world; then, going out of the
cemetery we walk along in silence and she slackens her pace on
purpose to walk beside me a little longer. The little girl,
joyous and happy, pulls at her hand, laughing and screwing up
her eyes in the bright sunlight, and we stand still and join in
caressing the dear child.
When we reach the town Anyuta Blagovo, agitated and flushing
crimson, says good-bye to me and walks on alone, austere and
respectable. . . . And no one who met her could, looking at her,
imagine that she had just been walking beside me and even
caressing the child.
NOTES
Borodino: the most important battle of the 1812 war between
Russia and France, 75 miles west of Moscow
Marshal of Nobility: elected leader of the district gentry
collegiate assessor: Rank 8 on the Russian civil service scale
beau monde: fashionable society
tableaux vivants: scenes presented by costumed actors who
remained silent and motionless as if in a picture; this activity
was extremely popular in the 19th century
uncut: many books in the 19th century had to have their pages
cut by the owner before reading
Jean: French for "Ivan"; the Russian nobility often spoke French
better than Russian, although by Chekhov's time the practice was
old-fashioned
St. Peter's fast: the fast from Trinity until St. Peter's day,
June 29 (Julian Calendar); depending on when Trininty fell, the
fast could last from 8 days to 6 weeks
faire le carri?e: make your career
Karpovna: using the nurse's patronymic by itself shows both
intimacy and respect
Shakespeare's Polonius: in Hamlet
Gogolesque pig faces: many extravagant fantasies occur in
Gogol's works
Baty: Batu, the nephew of Genghis Khan, led the Mongols in their
conquest of Russia in the 13th century
Make to yourselves friends of the mammon of unrighteousness:
Luke 16:9
kvass: a slightly fermented drink made from black bread and malt
gendarmes: the political police
pepper cordial: vodka laced with pepper
Order of Vladimir: Russian award founded by Catherine II in 1782
vegetarian: followers of Tolstoy, among others whose loyalty to
the government was questioned, were vegetarians
watchman striking on a sheet of iron: to let thieves know that
the watchman was actively on duty
St. Thomas's week: first week after Easter
Petchenyegs: Pechenegs were a savage, marauding Turkic tribe
during the 9th-11th centuries; synonymous with savage or
barbarian
barked the limetrees: stripped off the bark to make shoes with
village elder: the elected leader of the mir (village commune)
Flagellant: member of a religious sect that arose in the 17th
century; they repudiated priests and much of the Orthodox
Church, and tended to favor clean, white clothes
clack, clack, clack: blah-blah-blah
forties or the sixties: in the 1840's there was a romantic,
high-minded movement; in the 1860's the nihilist and radicals
predominated; both were times of intellectual ferment in Russia
862: the year in which Ryurik and his brothers became the
leaders of the Russian tribes, according to legend
big loaf and a gilt salt cellar: traditional Russian welcome
ceremony was the giving of a loaf of bread and salt
winter: Russians put on second window-frames in fall and remove
them in spring
receipt: recipe
sugar: sugar was expensive
Kleopatra of Egypt: Cleopatra (69 B. C. - 30 B. C.) was the
ruler of Egypt and mistress of both Julius Caesar and Mark
Antony
stove: the long, flat Russian stove held its heat for a long
time after being used for cooking; in winter the top of the
stove was a desirable place to sleep
exhibition: the World's Columbian exposition in Chicago in 1893
King David: Biblical king of the Hebrews who ruled c. 1000 B. C.
Ostrovsky or Gogol: Aleksander N. Ostrovsky (1823-1886), Russian
playwright; Nikolay V. Gogol (1809-1852) was a famous Russian
novelist and playwright
Kings: a card game for 4 players in which the player to take 9
tricks becomes "king"
|
